There is so much I love about humans. I love the way we try to look cool when we fall up the stairs and how we think no one will notice us picking our nose in the middle of traffic! I love how we all test how far we can bend the law before getting caught by j-walking, speeding (but never over 15km/hr) or parking in the “women with children” spot near the front of the mall.
All of these little things make me giggle and fills my day with those “little things” that make life more enjoyable.
This morning at Starbucks I saw one of my most favourite things about humans displayed in an elegant dance of laziness and stupidity!
The Starbucks I am at this morning is in a huge parking lot with a number of different stores surrounding it. There is an abundance of parking!
Despite this convenient accessibility to delicious, caffeine infused cups of heaven, there are those patrons who find it necessary to pull up in front of the coffee house, in a clearly marked “NO PARKING” zone, and run in for their fix.
Occasionally, like this morning, there are those who go beyond the momentary “just popping in an out” risk and they actually park their car in the no parking zone, walk in to Starbucks and take up their position at their “office” for an extended stay.
What makes this situation one of my top enjoyable moments is when the traffic cops come around!
This is when the dance begins! There is the mad dash from the coffee house to defend the laziness of parking 5 feet from the legal parking spots, the inevitable indisputable ticket exchange and then the coup de grace of stupidity where the lazy parker comes back to his perch to complain to anyone who will listen about the injustice dispensed!
How about this?
STOP BEING SO F’N LAZY!!!!!
That $80 ticket in your hand could have been avoided if you could find the energy to walk 10 extra steps from a dedicated parking space (of which there were plenty) to the coffee you love so much!
However, it was your combined laziness and stupidity that has now cost you this unjustified aggravation!
Oh yes! Please, make this more hilarious by telling everyone how you will waste a day in the court system fighting that ticket. What will be your defense? “Sorry your honour, I unzipped the back of my head and let my brain fall out!”…sorry won’t cut it in the court system although that is the only explanation for your complete idiocy.
Mind you, I would like to thank that lazy, stupid man who provided the inspiration for this blog. Sir, you have provided me with something to giggle about for the rest of the day. When I look in the mirror today I will be able to feel good about myself because even if I don’t love everything about how I look, I can at least know that I’m not as stupid as you 
. Thank you!
Love,
Farrah
{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
Ah ha ha! Reminds me of one day at dance class. All of the moms where waiting in chairs for their cherubs to finish their class, when someone walked in and said, “they’re ticketing all the cars parked in the driveway”. Every one, except myself, catapulted out of their chairs to move their cars…. I had parked in the totally empty parking lot that was indeed only 6 feet further from the driveway they all got ticketed in.
If it wasn’t for the stupid people, we really wouldn’t have anything to laugh about, would we…?
Dj
Absolutely!! LOL