Never ask favours from a Graphics Designer

by Farrah on July 30, 2010

This is in no way my own content…it is just something that made me split my sides laughing this week.

I hope you will all enjoy! Happy Friday!

~ Farrah

Story goes : Shannon (the secretary) has lost her cat and has asked David (the graphic designer) to help with a lost poster. This is their email correspondence. Read from top to bottom.



From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 9.15am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Poster

Hi
I opened the screen door yesterday and my cat got out and has been missing since then so I was wondering if you are not to busy you could make a poster for me. It has to be A4 and I will photocopy it and put it around my suburb this afternoon.

This is the only photo of her I have she answers to the name Missy and is black and white and about 8 months old. missing on Harper street and my phone number.
Thanks Shan.

From:David Thorne
Date:
Monday 21 June 2010 9.26am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Poster

Dear Shannon,
That is shocking news.
Although I have two clients expecting completed work this afternoon, I will, of course, drop everything and do whatever it takes to facilitate the speedy return of Missy.
Regards, David.



From:
Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 9.37am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Poster

yeah ok thanks. I know you dont like cats but I am really worried about mine. I have to leave at 1pm today.


From:
David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.17am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Poster

Dear Shannon,
I never said I don’t like cats. Attached poster as requested.
Regards, David.

From: Shannon Walkley
Date:
Monday 21 June 2010 10.24am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

yeah thats not what I was looking for at all. it looks like a movie and how come the photo of Missy is so small?


From: David Thorne
Date:
Monday 21 June 2010 10.28am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

Dear Shannon,
It’s a design thing. The cat is lost in the negative space.
Regards, David.


From: Shannon Walkley
Date:
Monday 21 June 2010 10.33am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

Thats just stupid. Can you do it properly please? I am extremely emotional over this and was up all night in tears. you seem to think it is funny. Can you make the photo bigger please and fix the text and do it in colour please. Thanks.


From: David Thorne
Date:
Monday 21 June 2010 10.46am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

Dear Shannon,
Having worked with designers for a few years now, I would have assumed you understood, despite our vague suggestions otherwise, we do not welcome constructive criticism. I don’t come downstairs and tell you how to send text messages, log onto Facebook and look out of the window. I have amended and attached the poster as per your instructions.
Regards, David.

From: Shannon Walkley
Date:
Monday 21 June 2010 10.59am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

This is worse than the other one. can you make it so it shows the whole photo of Missy and delete the stupid text that says missing missy off it? I just want it to say Lost.

From: David Thorne
Date:
Monday 21 June 2010 11.14am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster


From:
Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.21am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

yeah can you do the poster or not? I just want a photo and the word lost and the telephone number and when and where she was lost and her name. Not like a movie poster or anything stupid. I have to leave early today. If it was your cat I would help you. Thanks.

From: David Thorne
Date:
Monday 21 June 2010 11.32am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Awww

Dear Shannon,
I don’t have a cat. I once agreed to look after a friend’s cat for a week but after he dropped it off at my apartment and explained the concept of kitty litter. I have attached the amended version of your poster as per your detailed instructions.
Regards, David.


From: Shannon Walkley
Date:
Monday 21 June 2010 11.47am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Awww

Thats not my cat. where did you get that picture from? That cat is orange. I gave you a photo of my cat.



From: David Thorne
Date:
Monday 21 June 2010 11.58am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Awww

I know, but that one is cute. As Missy has quite possibly met any one of several violent ends, it is possible you might get a better cat out of this. If anybody calls and says “I haven’t seen your orange cat but I did find a black and white one with its hind legs run over by a car, do you want it?” you can politely decline and save yourself a costly veterinarian bill.
Regards, David.


From:
Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.07pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Awww

Please just use the photo I gave you.


From:
David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.22pm
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww


From:
Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.34pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

I didnt say there was a reward. I dont have $2000 dollars. What did you even put that there for? Apart from that it is perfect can you please remove the reward bit. Thanks Shan.

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.42pm
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.51pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

Can you just please take the reward bit off altogether? I have to leave in ten minutes and I still have to make photocopies of it.


From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.56pm
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww


From:
Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 1.03pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

Fine. That will have to do.

Share and Enjoy:
  • Digg
  • del.icio.us
  • Facebook
  • NewsVine
  • Reddit
  • StumbleUpon
  • Google Bookmarks
  • Yahoo! Buzz
  • Twitter
  • Technorati
  • Live
  • LinkedIn
  • MySpace

{ 0 comments }

Dance Class Drop-Out

by Farrah on July 26, 2010

A man and a woman performing a modern dance.

Image via Wikipedia

I don’t know how parents do it. I’m not a mom so I really wouldn’t know. So, please, if you do know, tell me…how do parents know what kind of activities their children should take?

Random question perhaps but after a weekend full of culture and talent I’ve been left wondering “Why didn’t my parents force me to dance?”

I’ll admit, this question is massively based on a desire to have the stellar body like those I saw on the female cast of “Rock of Ages” (super awesome, kick-ass stage show!). What amazing athletes!! Not to mention their performances were phenomenal! They were equally as sensational as hot bartenders as they were exotic dancers on the Sunset Strip!

The entire time I was watching the show I just kept saying to myself, “I wish my parents had put me in to dance!” These women could not have simply decided over night to become a Broadway sensation! Their talents would have taken years and years to cultivate! It could have been me!

I day dreamed for the remainder of the weekend about what it would be like to prance around in garter straps, high heels and a washboard stomach. Ahhh the dream! I would have been awesome!!!

Well, perhaps that is not true.

When I was younger I did take dance…I know, I know…the shock is still a little raw for me too!

For about two weeks I was in Jazz. I pranced around the room to MC Hammers “Can’t Touch This” and shook my booty until I sweat. To this  day I have no idea why I ever left Jazz but sure enough, two weeks later I was hanging up the dance shoes and moving on.

I really am glad I had the parents I did because they would have to be rather understanding to allow a child to be so uncommitted. Not only did I not get in trouble for leaving Jazz but I was encouraged to join the National Baton Twirling corp in my city (Yup…I was a baton twirler…go ahead…laugh away…we kicked ass!), most other parents would have kept me home for fear of wasting their time.

Alas, baton did not last either. Within a year of joining we moved and I took up the path my brother had paved, placed my “tomboy” hat firmly on my head and joined things like wrestling and army cadets (wow…this is really revealing how much of a geek child I was…oh well).

Although I enjoyed the time I had as a child and teenager I can’t help but wonder what would have become of me if I had continued to dance. If I hadn’t dropped out of dance class maybe I would find myself on stage shaking my thonged tushy in front of admiring audience members while rocking out to Bon Jovi and Stix or maybe I’d be on television dancing for my life on “So You Think You Can Dance”! Who knows, maybe I would have sprained an ankle and ended up writing like I’m doing now (destiny has a funny way of sorting that crap out).

Still, I wonder…could it have been me?

Enhanced by Zemanta
Share and Enjoy:
  • Digg
  • del.icio.us
  • Facebook
  • NewsVine
  • Reddit
  • StumbleUpon
  • Google Bookmarks
  • Yahoo! Buzz
  • Twitter
  • Technorati
  • Live
  • LinkedIn
  • MySpace

{ 6 comments }

How to Live Before You Die

July 22, 2010

This morning I woke up not feeling very amazing. I’m worn out mentally, I’m exhausted emotionally and I’m dead tired physically. When I popped on my computer this morning I had no idea what I would be writing for today’s blog, but after a week of not writing I knew I had to. I started [...]

Share and Enjoy:
  • Digg
  • del.icio.us
  • Facebook
  • NewsVine
  • Reddit
  • StumbleUpon
  • Google Bookmarks
  • Yahoo! Buzz
  • Twitter
  • Technorati
  • Live
  • LinkedIn
  • MySpace
Read the full article →

As the Groin Burns…The Writer Whines! *sniff*

July 15, 2010

Ouch….oooo….ouchie. I don’t know what hurts more, my pulled groin or the fact that I have to ice it! It’s been a bit of a painful week. Monday was my third karate class ever and during that class I did something to my groin. I’m not sure whether it was the insane bottom to the [...]

Share and Enjoy:
  • Digg
  • del.icio.us
  • Facebook
  • NewsVine
  • Reddit
  • StumbleUpon
  • Google Bookmarks
  • Yahoo! Buzz
  • Twitter
  • Technorati
  • Live
  • LinkedIn
  • MySpace
Read the full article →

Laziness and Stupidity – A Hilarious Combination!

July 14, 2010

There is so much I love about humans. I love the way we try to look cool when we fall up the stairs and how we think no one will notice us picking our nose in the middle of traffic! I love how we all test how far we can bend the law before getting [...]

Share and Enjoy:
  • Digg
  • del.icio.us
  • Facebook
  • NewsVine
  • Reddit
  • StumbleUpon
  • Google Bookmarks
  • Yahoo! Buzz
  • Twitter
  • Technorati
  • Live
  • LinkedIn
  • MySpace
Read the full article →