Growing up I remember hearing people say things like “there is no stronger bond than family” and “family are the ones you can rely on through thick and thin” and “blood is thicker than any adhesive holding two people together”. As I sit here watching my mother napping quietly I can feel my heart beat harder as though it has recognized the strength it will need to say goodbye to this beautiful woman and it’s started working out.
When it comes to my parents, my brother and I, I’d have to say that our bond is as those people say. We love each other and always have each others’ back.
HOWEVER, it isn’t our bloodline that keeps us so loyal…or so I’ve learned.
Sadly, through this experience with mom I have learned even blood does not erase a persons character.
I realize I have been blessed with a supportive and loving family. It’s because of this that I always assumed that family stuck together in good and bad times. I was wrong.
My mother had a few sad days that broke my heart and it was all because her TWIN SISTER has not come to see her.
I don’t blame her for feeling sad and hurt and heartbroken. My mother is DYING and her TWIN, who mom has helped through every little crisis in her life, can’t even take a moment out of her selfish schedule to come say hi! Even when she calls she never asks my mom how she is feeling she just goes on and on about herself and what she is doing.
So here is my thought…if blood is suppose to be thicker than glue than sharing the exact DNA should be like concrete!
It saddens me that there are people out there who are so involved in themselves that they can’t even take a moment to get out of their little comfort zone and pay respect to someone who has loved them unconditionally all through their lives.
I know I am ranting a little bit but this really bothers me.
What’s the deal?
If blood doesn’t bond us all together then what will?
When I watch the Harry Potter movies I always enjoy the scenes that have “Fox”, Dumbledore’s phoenix bird, in them (for obvious reasons).
Some times you see this gorgeous creature sailing through the sky and others she’s coming to someone’s rescue with a sword, a strong grip or healing tears.
My favourite scene with Fox is the one where she bursts in to flames.
It’s such a great scene because you can see how broken down this beautiful being gets by life, how she gives in to death letting the flames consume all that she is and finally, how she comes out of the ash more radiant and powerful.
Dumbledore calls it her “burning day”.
Back when I first started this blog (just over a year ago), I had already experienced my first Burning Day. My divorce had taken me to a great low point in my life where I was beaten and unrecognizable. Slowly I grew out from my ash and emerged a better woman. I looked at the world differently, I felt differently and I approached life in a whole new way. It was a phenomenon that I never thought I could experience and live to talk about…but I did.
Another Burning Day is coming for me, I can feel it right down to my core.
The stresses of life have come to a head with the impending departure of my precious mother from this world. Her battle with cancer will be over in a few short days. We will dress her in a beautiful Victorian nightgown, kiss her softly on the head and give her body over to the flames of death. In that moment I know that I will be with her. As her body is reduced to ash so will my heart.
Our Burning Day will be the end of the life we both knew.
Mom will move on to her eternal bliss where she will dance and sing as the beautiful vibrant woman I remember. Me on the other hand, I don’t know what will happen. I don’t know how long it will take for me to emerge from the ash, how long it will take for my new life to begin, how long it will be before my heart is whole again.
The pain is inevitable but I do hope that the other side of the flames will hold a life even better than my second, where my mothers memory and her guiding love will bring me to the realization of the dreams we have both had and that my new life will raise me above the sorrow, above the pain and send me soaring in to a beautiful future.
I don’t know how parents do it. I’m not a mom so I really wouldn’t know. So, please, if you do know, tell me…how do parents know what kind of activities their children should take? Random question perhaps but after a weekend full of culture and talent I’ve been left wondering “Why didn’t my parents [...]
This morning I woke up not feeling very amazing. I’m worn out mentally, I’m exhausted emotionally and I’m dead tired physically. When I popped on my computer this morning I had no idea what I would be writing for today’s blog, but after a week of not writing I knew I had to. I started [...]
Ouch….oooo….ouchie. I don’t know what hurts more, my pulled groin or the fact that I have to ice it! It’s been a bit of a painful week. Monday was my third karate class ever and during that class I did something to my groin. I’m not sure whether it was the insane bottom to the [...]
Never thought I would like a book about aliens but this one is fantastic. I love the flow of it back and forth between the host and the soul. Very very cool!
Growing up I remember hearing people say things like “there is no stronger bond than family” and “family are the ones you can rely on through thick and thin” and “blood is thicker than any adhesive holding two people together”. As I sit here watching my mother napping quietly I can feel my heart beat harder as though it has recognized the strength it will need to say goodbye to this beautiful woman and it’s started working out.
